What Do the Groom's Parents Pay For in a Modern Wedding?

When it comes to wedding costs, the question what do the groom's parents pay for? still comes up-even in 2026. The old rule that the bride’s family pays for everything and the groom’s family covers the booze and the rehearsal dinner? That’s mostly gone. Today, weddings are less about tradition and more about what works for the couple and their families. But that doesn’t mean the groom’s parents are off the hook. There are still clear expectations, practical contributions, and common sense splits that most couples and families follow-even in places like Auckland, where weddings can cost upward of $30,000.

What the Groom’s Parents Typically Cover

The groom’s parents don’t pay for the whole wedding. But they usually step in for specific parts. Here’s what’s still common today:

• The rehearsal dinner-This is still the #1 thing they’re expected to cover. It’s a chance to thank the wedding party, close friends, and out-of-town guests. Most couples expect this to be hosted by the groom’s side, often at a restaurant or private venue. Budgets range from $1,500 to $5,000 depending on guest count.
• The groom’s attire-This includes the suit or tuxedo, shoes, tie, cufflinks, and any accessories. It’s rare for the groom to pay for this himself if his parents are able to help. Many families see this as a meaningful gift.
• Alcohol for the reception-In many cases, especially in New Zealand, the groom’s family covers the bar. This isn’t universal, but it’s still common. A full open bar for 100 guests can easily cost $4,000-$8,000. Some families opt for a cash bar or limited drink options to save money.
• The marriage license and officiant fees-This is often overlooked. The legal side of the wedding-license, notary, officiant honorarium-is sometimes handled by the groom’s side, especially if the ceremony is religious or involves a clergy member they know.
• Transportation for the groom’s party-If the groom’s family has guests flying in or needs shuttles from the hotel to the venue, they often cover those costs. A few rental cars or a shuttle van isn’t cheap.
• Wedding favors for guests-Some families choose to pay for small tokens like local honey, mini wine bottles, or handmade candles. It’s not required, but it’s a thoughtful touch.

What They Don’t Pay For (Anymore)

There are a few things the groom’s parents used to pay for that are no longer assumed:

• The entire wedding-The idea that the groom’s family pays for half the wedding is outdated. Most couples now split costs based on what they can afford, not tradition.
• The bride’s dress or bridal party outfits-Unless they’re offering it as a gift, the groom’s parents don’t cover this. That’s still firmly the bride’s side.
• The venue deposit or catering-These are usually handled by the couple themselves, or split between both families. If the groom’s parents want to contribute, they often do so as a lump sum gift rather than taking over a major line item.

How Much Should They Actually Spend?

There’s no set rule. But here’s what most couples in New Zealand are seeing in 2026:

• Average contribution: $3,000-$7,000
• Low-end: $1,000-$2,500 (covers rehearsal dinner + groom’s suit)
• High-end: $10,000+ (if they’re covering the bar, transport, and a big gift)

Many families now give a single lump sum to the couple instead of paying for specific items. That way, the couple can decide how to use it-whether it’s for the honeymoon, a down payment on a house, or paying off wedding debt.

What If They Can’t Afford It?

This is a real issue. Not every family has the money. And that’s okay.

Here’s what works in practice:

• Have the conversation early-Don’t wait until the invitations go out. Talk about budget expectations before booking vendors.
• Offer non-monetary help-If they can’t pay, they can help with planning, cooking for the rehearsal dinner, driving guests, or setting up decor.
• Be clear about what’s optional-Tell them the rehearsal dinner is nice to have, but not required. Same with alcohol or favors.
• Accept what they can give-A $500 gift and heartfelt words mean more than a forced $5,000 loan.

One couple in Wellington told me their groom’s parents gave them $1,200 and a handmade photo album of the groom as a child. That gift was framed and displayed at the reception. It meant more than a fancy bar.

Modern Shifts: Couples Paying for Themselves

More than 60% of couples in New Zealand pay for at least half of their wedding themselves, according to a 2025 survey by Wedding NZ. This is especially true for couples under 30, those who’ve been together a long time, or those who’ve already bought a home together.

When the couple pays, it often looks like this:

• The groom’s parents give a gift of $2,000-$3,000 as a thank-you or contribution toward future goals.
• The couple covers the rehearsal dinner themselves but invites the parents to host it as a gesture.
• Alcohol is a cash bar or limited to beer and wine.

There’s no shame in this. In fact, most families appreciate it. It removes pressure and lets everyone enjoy the day without financial stress.

What About Step-Parents or Non-Traditional Families?

Blended families, same-sex couples, or single parents? The rules are even more flexible.

Here’s what works:

• Ask the couple what they’d like. Their needs come first.
• Don’t assume who should pay. A stepfather who raised the groom might want to cover the suit. A single mother might cover the whole dinner.
• Let everyone contribute in ways that feel meaningful-money, time, skills.

One Auckland couple had the groom’s dad pay for the band, while his mom and stepmom split the cost of the favors. No one kept score. Everyone felt included.

Key Takeaways

• The groom’s parents usually cover the rehearsal dinner, the groom’s attire, and sometimes the bar.
• They don’t pay for the whole wedding-unless they choose to.
• Amounts vary widely. $3,000-$7,000 is typical, but even $500 is meaningful.
• Non-monetary help is just as valuable.
• Couples are increasingly paying for their own weddings.
• Flexibility and communication beat tradition every time.

What If Your Family Can’t Pay?

If your family doesn’t have the money, don’t panic. Many couples in New Zealand today pay for their own weddings. If your parents want to help, they can:

• Offer to host the rehearsal dinner at their home instead of a restaurant.
• Help with planning or decorating.
• Give a gift toward your honeymoon or a down payment.
• Just show up and be there.

Weddings aren’t about who paid for what. They’re about who showed up. And that’s what matters.