Who Picks What the Groom Wears? A Real Look at Wedding Suit Decisions

Most people assume the bride’s dress gets all the attention, but the groom’s outfit can be a battleground, too. Who actually decides what the groom wears—himself, his partner, or someone else?

It’s not as simple as grabbing the first suit that fits. Sometimes the groom has a clear vision, but other times, the partner wants the whole look to match the color scheme. Add in parents or siblings with strong opinions, and things can get complicated fast.

If you’re about to pick out a suit or help someone who is, it pays to know how these choices really get made. You’ll save time, steer clear of unnecessary stress, and might even avoid some last-minute surprises. Here’s the honest scoop on what happens behind the scenes—and why it matters for your big day.

• The Old Rules: Who Used to Decide?
• Modern Couples: Sharing the Choice
• Family and Friends: Help or Hassle?
• What Actually Matters for the Groom
• Tips for Making Suit Shopping Easier

The Old Rules: Who Used to Decide?

This might surprise you: tradition used to give the groom almost zero say over his own suit. Back in the day—think mid-1900s—the groom’s parents, mostly his mom, called the shots. They usually picked a classic black tuxedo or something super formal. This wasn’t about style, it was about sticking to the rules and looking “respectable.”

Color choices? Forget about them. There was hardly any variety. Neutral suits dominated, and the whole point was blending in, not standing out. Even when trends shifted—like the powder-blue tuxes in the ‘70s or those bold cummerbund colors in the ‘80s—the groom himself still rarely picked his outfit. It was all about what was “proper” enough to make Grandma happy and work with the wedding photos.

If a wedding was very traditional or religious, sometimes the groom and groomsmen even had to match the officiant or other ceremonial outfits. No room for personal taste there.

Here’s a quick look at what used to matter most:

• The family’s approval—especially mom’s
• Sticking to social or religious customs
• Matching the “formality” level of the wedding
• Keeping up with whatever the couple’s friends wore at their recent weddings

The idea of the groom suit reflecting the guy’s personality? That only started gaining steam pretty recently. So if your uncle jokes about just showing up and wearing what he was told, he isn’t exaggerating.

Modern Couples: Sharing the Choice

If you think wedding decisions used to be strict, you’re not wrong. But today, most couples want the big day to feel like it reflects both people. Picking the groom suit is a tag-team effort more often than not!

According to The Knot’s 2024 Real Weddings Study, about 62% of couples shop together for the groom’s attire. Why? Modern couples care about matching the overall vibe, making sure styles don’t clash in the photos, and yes, sometimes coordinating colors with everything from flowers to shoes. It’s way less about old-school traditions and more about having fun picking something both folks actually like.

Deciding together doesn’t mean matching from head to toe. Usually, couples discuss these basics before shopping:

• How formal should the suit be (casual, classic, or super formal)?
• Color choices — Do you go with basic black, bolder tones, or something that picks up a shade from the wedding palette?
• Rental or buy — What fits best in the budget?
• Personal style — Is the groom comfortable in a tux, or would a relaxed blazer suit him more?
• Little touches — Like unique socks, cufflinks, or pocket squares.

Straight talk: Most grooms want their outfit to look good next to their partner’s look, but rarely dream about suit shopping as much as brides obsess over dresses. Still, when both people get a say, there’s less room for regrets. Plus, shopping together can keep surprises (like mismatched vibes in photos) from happening.

If you’re blending ideas, here are some quick tips:

• Set a budget and stick with it — suits, alterations, and accessories add up fast.
• Snap photos of color swatches and keep them handy while shopping.
• Respect each other’s must-haves and dealbreakers early on. For example: If someone hates bow ties or vests, just say so.

On a practical note, a lot of couples now pick out suits well before choosing accessories, and then add in ties, shoes, and pocket squares once the main look comes together. This keeps things stress-free and gives both sides room to add personality.

Family and Friends: Help or Hassle?

If you think picking a groom suit is a solo mission, think again. Family and friends often jump into the process, sometimes making things easier—and sometimes just adding drama. Parents especially love to give advice. In some families, the father of the groom offers to loan his old wedding suit, certain it’s a timeless classic. Other times, siblings or best friends tag along for shopping trips, thinking their jokes make the hours in dressing rooms more bearable.

The tricky part? It’s easy for this support to spill over into pressure. A study shared by The Knot in 2023 showed over 55% of couples said family opinions heavily shaped wedding attire buys. Moms, in particular, want “coordinated” family photos, prodding the couple to stick to specific colors, tie styles, or even certain fabrics. You can see where tensions might flare up—especially if the groom wants to loosen up on tradition.

Here’s the good news: Friends and relatives can have solid advice, and sometimes they spot a perfect suit fit you’d have missed. If you keep a few simple rules, you can get the best of both worlds—their help but not their hassle:

• Pick one or two people to involve; too many cooks can spoil the broth.
• Set clear boundaries ahead of time: make it clear if you’re after opinions or just want company.
• If tradition matters to your family, find middle ground: maybe try a classic color but add a personal twist like funky socks or a unique boutonniere.
• Remember, whoever pays often expects a bigger say. If you want full control, budget for your own suit.

Everyone means well, but at the end of the day, it’s about wearing something that makes the groom feel like himself. Family opinions can be helpful, just don’t let them drown out the guy’s own style or comfort.

What Actually Matters for the Groom

Let’s get real—what the groom wears shouldn’t just look good in photos. It has to feel right for him, too. You can spend weeks picking the perfect color, but if the suit itches or the shoes pinch, he’ll remember the misery, not the style.

There are some basics that make the difference between a sharp groom and someone who looks uncomfortable. First is fit. Seriously, nothing beats a suit that fits well. Tailoring matters way more than brand names or price. Even an affordable suit can look top-tier with the right tweaks.

Next up, the vibe of the wedding matters. You wouldn’t wear a tux to a backyard barbecue, right? Consider the time of year, the venue, and the wedding theme. If you’re getting married outside in July, go for lighter fabrics like linen or cotton instead of heavy wool.

Comfort is just as crucial as style. According to a recent survey by The Knot, over 60% of grooms said comfort was their top priority when picking a wedding outfit. Looks are one thing, but you want to get through the day smiling, not fixing a tight collar every five minutes.

Don’t forget personality. The groom should feel like himself, not a mannequin. If he’s always in jeans and sneakers, maybe skip the tails and bowtie. Expressing a bit of personal style—whether it’s cool socks, a funky tie, or a favorite pair of cufflinks—makes the whole thing feel more genuine.

• groom suit color should work with the wedding palette, but don’t force it if it clashes with his skin tone.
• Pockets matter! Suits with real pockets are more practical for carrying vows, rings, or even tissues (weddings get emotional, let’s be honest).
• Check shoe options in advance—breaking in new shoes is a must, not a maybe.

Sometimes, there’s family pressure to wear something traditional. If that means something to the groom or his family, try to work it in. But it shouldn’t come at the cost of fit or comfort. Wedding days are already nerve-wracking; the actual outfit should make things easier, not harder.

So, if you’re in the middle of this right now, focus on fit, comfort, and a look that feels like you. Pick out gear that’ll let you eat, dance, and hug people without holding back. That’s what actually matters—and it shows in every candid photo.

Tips for Making Suit Shopping Easier

Suit shopping can feel more stressful than it needs to be. Here’s how you can cut down the drama and get through it with your sanity (and your style) intact.

• Know the basics upfront: Figure out the dress code, wedding venue, and season before you even start browsing. Black tie? Outdoor barn? Beach wedding? Each comes with its own obvious do’s and don’ts for what the groom should wear.
• Set a budget and stick with it. This avoids the heartbreak of falling for a suit you just can’t swing. On average, in the U.S., the cost of a groom's suit falls between $200 and $600 to buy, or $100-$200 to rent, depending on style and brand.
• Shop early. You’ll want at least two to three months for ordering, tailoring, and any returns or swaps. Last-minute changes are way less fun than you’d hope.
• Bring the right crew. If the groom’s partner wants some input, have them come along, but avoid a big audience. Too many opinions rarely help.
• Don’t skip the tailor. A suit off the rack is never going to fit as well as one that gets tweaked just for you. Even small tailoring can seriously upgrade the look and comfort.

Here’s a quick breakdown that might help manage the groom suit decision process:

One more thing: focus on comfort as much as style. The groom will wear this suit all day, from nervous vows to bad dance moves. If something tight or scratchy is bothering you during fittings, it’ll be even worse on the wedding day. Don’t settle just because the photos look cool.

And if you’re stuck on what looks good, just ask for help at the shop. Most staff see nervous grooms and picky partners every week—they’ll steer you in the right direction without judgment. Suit shopping doesn’t have to be a pain, promise!