Who Pays for Mother of Groom Hair and Makeup? Wedding Etiquette Explained

When you’re planning a wedding, the little things add up fast. One question that pops up more often than you’d think: Who pays for mother of groom hair and makeup? It’s not as simple as ‘the bride pays’ or ‘the groom’s family covers it.’ There’s no rulebook written in stone, but there are clear traditions, modern shifts, and practical ways to handle it without awkwardness.

Tradition vs. Today

In older wedding etiquette, the groom’s family was expected to cover all costs related to their side of the wedding - including the groom’s parents’ attire, transportation, and sometimes even beauty services. That meant if the mother of the groom wanted her hair and makeup done professionally, it was her son’s family’s responsibility. But today? Things are different.

Most couples now split costs based on what they can afford, not old-school rules. A 2024 survey by WeddingWire found that 68% of couples in New Zealand and Australia now pay for their own wedding expenses, or split them 50/50 with both families. That includes beauty services for parents. So if the mother of the groom wants a professional blowout or full glam, it’s no longer automatic that the groom’s family pays - unless they choose to.

Why It Matters

Let’s be real: wedding hair and makeup isn’t just about looking good. It’s about feeling confident on a day full of photos, hugs, and emotional moments. A mother who feels put together often feels more at ease, which helps the whole day run smoother. But that service can cost anywhere from $120 to $350 depending on your location, stylist, and how elaborate the look is.

Here’s the thing: if you’re the bride and you’ve already paid for your own hair and makeup, your mother-in-law’s service isn’t part of your budget unless you decide to make it so. Same goes for the groom’s side - if they’re already footing the bill for his father’s suit rental or their own travel, adding a $250 hair and makeup appointment might strain their finances.

How to Handle It Without Awkwardness

The key is communication - early and kindly. Don’t wait until two weeks before the wedding to drop this bomb. Bring it up during one of the first planning chats.

• Option 1: The groom’s family pays. If they’re in a good financial spot and want to give this as a gift, great. They can say, “We’d love to treat your mom to hair and makeup - it’s our way of saying thanks.”
• Option 2: The mother pays herself. Many mothers today prefer this. They know their own style, have a favorite stylist, and don’t want to feel like a burden. They might say, “I’ve already booked my appointment - thanks for asking!”
• Option 3: You offer to cover it. If you’re comfortable and it fits your budget, you can say, “We’d be honored to include your mom’s hair and makeup in our wedding beauty package.” This is a thoughtful gesture, especially if she’s flying in or doesn’t have the means.
• Option 4: Group discount. If the bride, mother of the bride, and mother of the groom are all getting their hair and makeup done, ask your stylist if they offer a family rate. Many do - it can save $50-$100 across the board.

What About the Mother of the Bride?

You’ll probably notice we didn’t mention her yet. That’s because the mother of the bride traditionally gets her beauty services covered by the bride’s family. But again - that’s not law. If the bride’s parents are tight on cash, the mother of the bride might pay for herself. Or if the groom’s family is flush and wants to do something nice, they might offer to cover both mothers. That’s not weird - it’s generous.

The bottom line: there’s no universal rule. What matters is respect, clarity, and kindness. Don’t assume. Don’t resent. Ask.

What If She Wants Something Expensive?

Sometimes a mother of the groom might want a full glam look with extensions, contouring, and a hairpiece - all of which can push the cost over $400. That’s fine. But if the groom’s family can’t afford it, say so gently. You can say, “We’d love to help make sure you feel beautiful, and we’ve budgeted $200 for beauty services. Is that enough to cover what you’re thinking? Or would you prefer to book your own?”

Most mothers understand. They’ve been through weddings before. They know budgets are tight. What they really want is to feel included, not pressured.

Real Example: Auckland Wedding, 2025

In a wedding last October in Ponsonby, the groom’s mother wanted to get her hair and makeup done by a well-known bridal stylist. The groom’s parents were retired and living on a fixed income. The bride, who had saved for two years, offered to cover the full $320 cost as a gift. The mother of the groom cried - not because of the money, but because she felt seen. She later told the bride, “I didn’t expect this. It meant more than the service itself.”

That’s the magic of this decision. It’s not about the price tag. It’s about the message.

What You Shouldn’t Do

• Don’t assume your future mother-in-law expects you to pay.
• Don’t make it a competition with the mother of the bride’s services.
• Don’t wait until the last minute to ask.
• Don’t guilt-trip anyone if they can’t afford it.

Weddings are emotional. Money talks loud. But kindness speaks louder.

Pro Tip: Bundle It

Many bridal salons now offer “Family Beauty Packages.” These include hair and makeup for the bride, mother of the bride, and mother of the groom - all at a discounted rate. Ask your stylist if they have one. You might save 15-20%. Even better: some salons offer a free touch-up for parents if you book the bride’s service with them. That’s a win-win.

Final Thought

Who pays for mother of groom hair and makeup? The answer is: whoever wants to. It’s not about tradition. It’s about love, respect, and knowing when to step up - or step back.

At the end of the day, the mother of the groom just wants to look and feel her best for her son’s big day. Whether that’s paid for by her son’s family, her own savings, or the bride’s generosity - it doesn’t matter. What matters is that she’s treated with care.