Wedding Terminology Checker
Is Your Term Respectful?
Enter a wedding-related phrase to see if it's respectful toward cake makers and other vendors. This tool analyzes language based on industry standards and the article "What Is a Derogatory Term 'Cake Eater'?".
Ever heard someone call a wedding cake maker a "cake eater" and wondered what it meant? It sounds harmless-maybe even funny. But in certain corners of the wedding industry, that phrase carries a heavy, ugly weight. It’s not a compliment. It’s not slang for someone who loves dessert. It’s a derogatory term, and it’s being used to insult the very people who create the centerpiece of your wedding day.
Where Did "Cake Eater" Come From?
The term "cake eater" doesn’t appear in any dictionary as a standard phrase. It’s not used in baking schools, culinary journals, or wedding magazines. Instead, it’s a whispered insult that surfaced online in wedding forums and Facebook groups around 2018. It started as a joke among brides who were frustrated with last-minute cake changes or budget overruns. But it quickly twisted into something darker.
Some brides began using "cake eater" to imply that the cake maker was only in it for the money-like they were "eating" the profits off the bride’s big day. It suggested the baker was greedy, unprofessional, or worse-taking advantage of emotional spending. The term spread because it was catchy, but it stuck because it tapped into a deeper bias: the idea that cake makers aren’t real artists, just service providers who "live off" weddings.
Why It’s Harmful
Wedding cake makers are skilled professionals. Many spend years training in pastry arts, food safety, and structural engineering just to make a tiered cake that won’t collapse under its own weight. Some study under master chocolatiers. Others travel to France or Italy to learn traditional sugar work. Many work 80-hour weeks in the months leading up to peak wedding season.
Calling them "cake eaters" reduces their craft to a stereotype: someone who just "eats" off the wedding pie. It ignores the hours of design, the precision of piping, the science of fondant stability, the cost of edible gold leaf, the refrigerated transport, the insurance, the permits, the waste from test batches. It’s not just disrespectful-it’s economically ignorant.
And it’s not just about money. The term also implies gender bias. The vast majority of professional wedding cake makers are women. Using a phrase like "cake eater" to shame them plays into old tropes that women who bake are "just housewives" or "snacks for profit." It’s a quiet form of devaluation that’s been normalized in wedding spaces.
Real-Life Impact
In Auckland, a cake maker named Lina Tan was once publicly called a "cake eater" in a Google review after a bride’s cake didn’t match a Pinterest board exactly. The review said: "Worth every penny? More like every penny went to the cake eater." Lina lost three bookings that month. She had to take out a small business loan just to cover her rent.
She’s not alone. A 2024 survey by the New Zealand Pastry Guild found that 42% of wedding cake makers had been called "cake eater" by clients or seen the term used in online reviews. Of those, 68% said it affected their reputation. One baker in Wellington quit the industry entirely after being called that in a wedding Facebook group.
What Should You Call Them Instead?
If you love your cake, say so. Call the maker a wedding cake artist. Or a pastry chef. Or even just your baker. These terms acknowledge skill, creativity, and labor.
Some bakers use "cake designer" on their websites. Others prefer "artisan cake maker." The point isn’t to be fancy-it’s to be accurate. You wouldn’t call a wedding photographer a "picture taker" or a florist a "flower snatcher." Why do it to the person who built your cake from scratch?
How the Industry Is Fighting Back
Organizations like the Wedding Cake Professionals Network and the New Zealand Pastry Guild have launched awareness campaigns. They now include a simple line on their websites: "We don’t eat your cake. We make it." They’ve also created downloadable stickers for bakers to use on social media: "I’m not a cake eater. I’m a cake maker."
At the 2025 New Zealand Wedding Expo, a panel titled "Stop Calling Us Cake Eaters" drew over 300 bakers and planners. One speaker put it plainly: "If you wouldn’t call a surgeon a "scalpel user," don’t call us a cake eater. We’re not stealing your money-we’re creating a memory."
What You Can Do
Next time you’re writing a review for your cake maker, pause. Ask yourself: Would I say this if they were a wedding photographer? A DJ? A tailor? If the answer is no, don’t say it.
Support the bakers who do the work. Leave a review that mentions their skill, their patience, their attention to detail. Share their work. Tag them. Buy from them again for birthdays or anniversaries. That’s how you honor their craft.
And if you hear someone use the term "cake eater" in a wedding group or chat? Call it out. Not aggressively-but clearly. Say: "That term is hurtful. They’re an artist. Let’s treat them like one."
It’s Not Just About Words
Language shapes how we see the world. When we call skilled professionals by a mocking nickname, we make it easier to underpay them, to ignore their boundaries, to dismiss their expertise. "Cake eater" isn’t just a bad phrase-it’s a symptom of a larger problem in the wedding industry: the undervaluing of creative labor.
Wedding cakes aren’t just sugar and butter. They’re edible sculptures. They’re the centerpiece of a day that’s been planned for months. The person who made it didn’t just "eat" the profit. They poured their talent into something that will live in your photos, your memories, your family stories.
So next time you slice into that cake, remember: you’re not eating their work. You’re celebrating it. And the person who made it? They deserve more than a slur.
Is "cake eater" ever used positively?
No. "Cake eater" is not used positively in any professional or mainstream context. Even when people think they’re using it humorously, it carries the same negative connotation of exploitation or laziness. There’s no documented instance of it being reclaimed as a badge of pride by wedding cake makers. It’s always used as a put-down.
Are there other derogatory terms like this in the wedding industry?
Yes. Terms like "flower snatcher," "band renter," and "photographer parasite" have popped up online. They all follow the same pattern: reducing skilled professionals to greedy leeches. These terms are often used by people who don’t understand the cost of materials, labor, or insurance behind wedding services. The industry is pushing back by educating clients on what each vendor actually does.
Do wedding cake makers make a lot of money?
Not necessarily. While top-tier cake makers in big cities can charge $2,000-$5,000 for a wedding cake, most earn between $800 and $1,800. After factoring in ingredients, labor, refrigeration, delivery, packaging, and taxes, many take home less than $500 per cake. Some work 60-80 hours a week during peak season and still struggle to cover rent. Calling them "cake eaters" ignores how little profit most actually make.
Can I still say "cake maker" instead of "cake eater"?
Absolutely. "Cake maker" is accurate, respectful, and widely accepted. Even better: "wedding cake artist," "pastry chef," or "artisan baker." These terms recognize the skill involved. There’s no need to use slang that’s been tainted by negativity. Simple, clear language works best.
What if I accidentally used "cake eater" and now feel bad?
Apologize. A simple "I didn’t realize that term was offensive-I’m sorry" goes a long way. Most cake makers appreciate the acknowledgment. Then, make it right: leave a thoughtful review, refer them to friends, or even buy a cake for your next celebration. Actions speak louder than words.
