Wedding Customs: What Couples Actually Do and Why

If you’re planning a wedding in Bristol, you’ll hear a lot of talk about ‘customs.’ They’re the little rituals that make the day feel special – and sometimes confusing. Below we break down the most common customs, what they mean, and how you can decide which ones fit your style.

Classic Customs You’ll See at Most Weddings

RSVP. The “V” stands for “vocavez,” French for “please respond.” It’s not just polite; it tells the venue how many seats to set up, how much food to order, and helps you stay on budget. Put a clear deadline on the invite and follow up with a gentle reminder if needed.

Garter Toss. The groom usually tosses the garter to a single male guest. It’s a playful way to keep the party lively and, according to tradition, the catcher is the next to marry. If you don’t like the idea, skip it or replace it with a fun game that involves all guests.

Who Pays for Flowers? Traditionally the bride’s family covers the bouquet and boutonnieres, while the groom’s side handles the reception centrepieces. Today many couples split the cost or let the budget decide. Talk openly with families early so nobody feels trapped.

Father of the Groom Attire. There’s no hard rule about color, but navy, charcoal, or a deep green suit work with most themes. The key is coordination – the father’s outfit should complement the groom without looking like a matchy‑matchy uniform.

Black at a Wedding. Wearing black used to be a taboo, but modern weddings accept it as a chic, sophisticated choice for guests. Just avoid anything too formal or mourning‑like if the couple prefers bright colours.

Modern Twists and How to Personalise

Customs evolve, and you can put a fresh spin on them. For example, instead of a traditional gag gift from the groom’s mother, think of a heartfelt present like a handwritten recipe book or a family heirloom. It keeps the meaning but feels more personal.

If the garter toss feels outdated, try a “shoe game” where the couple answers fun questions while swapping shoes. It still creates laughs and gets guests involved without the old superstition.

When it comes to invitations, the RSVP can be digital. A simple online form saves paper, cuts costs, and instantly updates you on headcounts. Just make sure the link is clear on the invite.

Want to keep the black‑dress rule but add colour? Suggest guests wear a splash of the wedding palette – a pocket square, a tie, or a shoestring – so the room feels coordinated without being uniform.

Lastly, remember that customs are guides, not rules. Talk with your partner about what feels right, ask families what matters to them, and blend the old with the new. The goal is a day that feels authentic to you, not a checklist you’re forced to follow.

By understanding the why behind each tradition, you’ll feel confident to keep, tweak, or skip any custom. That confidence makes the planning process smoother and the wedding day more enjoyable for everyone.